I've learned from experience that even though I might believe someone is a close dear friend, that person could be in reality someone I don't know at all, so it's better to not bare my soul or share my vulnerabilities.
But then again...I'm pretty much an open book, so who cares, right? HA!
I do know that I'm a different person than I was a year ago. A year ago I felt so defeated. I was depressed. I hurt all over. I wasn't looking forward to the next 5 years of life, feeling the way I was feeling, let alone another 20 or 30 or more years.
But did that stop me? Did I change anything? No, I still ate horribly, a very highly processed diet, lots of bread and sweets and junk foods. Literally thousands of junk calories a day and NO exercise. It hurt just to get up and go to the bathroom, so I moved only as necessary.
It was getting more and more difficult to do everyday things that people take for granted...things as simple as tying my shoes. More that I won't go into, but that every person who has ever been morbidly obese will know.
I was killing myself. What was even more sad is that I knew what I was doing, but it didn't stop me. I was feeding a monster that could never be satisfied, whose hunger only grew with each chip, each cookie, each piece of cake.
So what was it that finally turned the switch? What was it that finally caused me to stop killing myself?
I don't know what it was. Part of my journey is to discover what caused me to get to that point of utter hopelessness and despair and also to discover what it was that snapped me out of it and put me on this journey to regain my health and create a life that I can life with purpose and enjoyment.
