I am obsessing over what I can and cannot eat, and pissed off that there's so much I can't eat, that I have to restrict my calories and carbs so much, that my servings are so tiny, that I have to wait 30 min after I eat before I can have a drink of water, that I haven't lost 50 lbs (and it's almost 4 weeks!).
OK, that last one was pretty ridiculous, and I need to stay the hell off the scale and just go by how I am feeling and how my clothes are fitting. I asked Ken to bring out my scale a couple days ago because I was feeling so skinny (HA) and my weight wasn't anywhere near what I expected to be. I fully expected to be down at least 10 lbs more than I was, and I realize that it's ridiculous to feel that way, but it doesn't change how I'm feeling right now.
I have an appointment with my therapist next Friday and I am SO ready for it. This shit is real.
I've had Ken hide my scale again because it really does do a mind-f**k on me. It has far too much power over me and makes me want to STUFF MY FACE. I'm not hungry but I want to stuff my face.
I also did not do the treadmill this morning. I needed to give my knee a break, it was hurting so bad yesterday and it's a struggle to go up and down stairs again. Once again, I've overdone it...16 days in a row, from 10 minutes when I first started to 35 minutes. I HAVE to go slower. I have to increase the time and intensity much more gradually, or I am going to end up so crippled that I won't be able to do anything at all.
SparkPeople, has some really cool "trend" reports that I can run. When I look at the trend over the last month, I'm actually doing pretty good, though it looks like I was carb-cycling for that last week or so. But my averages are all right spot on. Spark doesn't let me put my daily calorie count under 1000 but my actual goal is 600-700 per day. Closer to the lower range.
I'll figure this out. I have no choice. I will NOT fail.
