Discipline! Consistency! New Habits!

Discpline.  Consistency. New Habits.  These are three things that I have GOT to work on, not just in the way I eat, but in all areas of my life.  Like this blog, for example!  I want this blog to be a record of this life-saving (life-changing) journey that I'm on, yet if I don't blog, there's no record.

Discipline.  This is something that I'm really coming up short on.  I keep losing sight of what I want most, and going for what I want right now.  Whether it's something I buy, or something I eat, or something I do, I am very habituated to instant-gratification.  I have bursts of self-discipline, but they rarely last longer than a few weeks or months. 

I absolutely HAVE to practice this...it's not something that comes naturally to me, so I have to keep doing it, daily, and it will become more and more natural to me. I'm so self-indulgent, and that self-indulgence has gotten me to this point...where I am willing to let them remove over 80% of my stomach so that I can finally lose the weight.   I must keep in the forefront of my mind what I want most. I will weigh every decision I make, everything I put in my mouth, against what I want MOST.  Do I want that (fill in the blank) right now, even MORE than I want to be a normal size, healthy and active and enjoying being in my own body? 

I commit right now, that before I eat anything that isn't part of my plan I will ask myself if I want that more than what I want most.  

Consistency.  I need to be consistent in blogging. It not only helps keep me motivated in this journey, but it helps me to put my thoughts down...to see where my head is going...and to have a record of this process. 

I have only blogged twice so far this year, and one of those times was simply copying a wonderful post from a Bariactric FB group!  I need to be consistent in my blogging...make it a habit to blog at LEAST once a week...ideally more often than that.  There is so much that happened since I last blogged a month ago that I haven't blogged about.  My new PCP, my continuing therapy with Janys, the acupuncture I've been getting, the experience with my feet and trying to get that resolved.  My new SUV!  Refinancing my mortgage. The monster boss at work.  SO many things that have been happening that I haven't written about.  I really regret that.  And I don't want to live a life with regrets. 

So right now...right here....I am committing to blogging at least ONCE A WEEK.

New Habits.  My old habits haven't worked very good for me, obviously.  I need to develop new habits BEFORE I have my surgery.  I need to make it a habit to eat every 2.5 to 3 hours.  And to eat only what I have planned to eat. I need to BREAK the habit of night-time grazing. I need to make it a habit to eat slowly and mindfully.  To actually experience every bite, and to chew each bite at least 10-15 times.  I still eat very fast, and am barely conscious when I do it. I still look at my plate in surprise when I've finished, because I eat so fast, and without even thinking about the bite in my mouth.  Also, I need to make it a habit to move more every day. Right now it's difficult because of my issues with my feet (Plantar Faciitis and tendinitis) but I am seeing a foot doctor (who is GORGEOUS, btw) and I really believe that I am improving and will be back on the treadmill every morning very soon!  I also want to start kettlebell training again.  Kettlebells will be a huge part of this journey, and of my overall health. 

Right now, I am committing to eating slower and more mindfully, and to start moving more, as my feet allow. 

In my last session with Janys, she told me to work on finding other ways to soothe myself, rather than using food to do it.  I have been soothing myself with food this past week or so. Worrying about Max having cancer, stressing over the work situation...but I'm using it as an excuse.  I will find other ways to soothe my soul, other than eating. 

Til next time....Discipline!  Consistency!  New habits!