Ending a Lousy Year in a Lousy Way

I am going to be SO glad to see 2017 end.  This was the year I've gotten fatter than I've ever been in my life, and that my body started seriously objecting to the blubber that I'm forcing it to pack around.  And I'm ending it back on the damn crutches, unable to walk without them.

Yesterday morning I felt amazing...absolutely no pain in my foot, no trouble walking...I had beaten back the inflammatory tendinitis again (this was the THIRD attack since October!) and I was going to start back on my treadmill again this morning.  Then in the afternoon, I stepped on Sophie's bed as I was going to the hallway...and as I bore down on the bum foot I felt what I can only call a snap, or a bubble bursting...then the most excruciating pain to-date.  I don't know if I ruptured a ligament or what, but I can not walk on it at all without the help of crutches.

So here I sit, in my bedroom, with my laptop, doped up with Aleve and oxy (which barely dents it,) wishing I were down in the kitchen doing food and meal prep for my fresh start for the new year tomorrow.  Grrrrrrr.  What a shitty way to end the year. And it's all self-inflicted, I'm positive of that.  A body is not designed to lug around 150 extra pounds 24/7.  Mine is objecting big time.

I joined a "30 Days Sugar Free" online challenge that I'm really excited about. It was $50 to join it (that's half-price) but I have access to the website and the secret Facebook group for life. The people in the Facebook group are AMAZING.  Some have been sugar free for years, and offer incredible support and compassion.

I also received a pdf of the book that inspired this: "I Love Me More Than Sugar".  The author Barry Friedman is an active member of the group as well!  This is going to give me a great jump start on the pre-surgery weight loss and post-surgery lifestyle.

I bought the Kindle edition of the book...I don't really want to download the pdf version to every device I might be using. I'll be sharing lots of snippets and quotes from the book...what tiny bit I've read so far is really making so much sense:

"Reptilian Brain" is the oldest part of the human brain that is associated with the following traits: protection, aggression, dominance, obsessiveness, compulsiveness, fear and greed. That part of the brain, in our modern society, considers sugar as a survival need.

"That part of your brain (Reptilian Brain) is fed by you giving in - sugar, TV, sex, drugs - or just about anything else that will deliver a temporary dopamine surge and make sure you stay right where you are."   (From "I Love Me More Than Sugar" by Barry Friedman)

Nancy came over yesterday so we could go out to lunch....that last burger / fries. I also had a beer. It was good...and surprisingly, I didn't feel as though I was having last rites. I know that eventually I'll be able to have a burger again...or at least a few bites of one, and it was just eh.  Though the fried pickles and twister fries were AH-MAZING.  LOL

We also took the opportunity to get Nancy's before pics, and also our "Sleeve Sisters" before pic.  I shudder when I see what I look like...but I know that a year from now it's going to be a very, very different story!

This is such an amazing thing, that Nancy and I are doing this together. We have the same bariatric team and will be going to our nutrition appts together, and we'll also (hopefully) get sleeved on the same day!

I am just so glad that when I asked her back in November if she wanted to attend a WLS seminar with me, that her response was a very emphatic "OH HELL YES!" Here's to a brand new US in 2018!