I found a diet journal that I kept in 1993 -25 years ago! So many of the entries really hit me emotionally. I kept it when Brian was a baby, before I got pregnant with Monica, and I had just joined TOPS. My starting weight was 269 lbs. I kept the journal for a little over 6 months...lots of ups and downs, lots of over-eating. I was doing the low-fat diet then...lots of pasta, rice, Entemans fat free cakes, fat-free cream cheese, bagels, etc. I believed at the time that I was eating healthy, but I know now that the fat-free craze was actually orchestrated by the sugar industry. I ate a diet high in sugar, high in simple carbs and processed foods, but very low in fat - one of the unhealthiest ways to eat, we now know. Still, I'd lost around 35 pounds by the last journal entry, in March 1994. I state in the journal that I had barely maintained for the last four months of that. Then I found out I was pregnant with Monica and quit going to TOPS.
One of the entries in particular really struck me. 25 years ago I wrote that I'd been locked in a prison of obesity for over 20 years. I haven't escaped that prison yet. I've been in this prison for over 45 years. But I am about to be freed, forever.
I have my final nutritionist appointment in 11 days. Nancy and I will get our surgery date after that appointment, then I have the feeling that things are going to move fast. I'm getting a little bit nervous, but also very excited and optimistic that I will finally have that missing tool that will finally give me the ability to escape the prison of obesity.
I've been doing the pre-surgery diet again to get my head back in the game after the total lapse I had after losing Max, and then 11 days later, my Faith. I'm back on track and should be well into the 260's by my appointment. That will mean that I will have lost around 40 pounds since the beginning of the year. By the surgery date, I'd like it to be 50 lbs down from when I first started this journey.
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