I'm now starting my 4th week post-surgery. I feel like I'm doing really well though I have no idea what I weigh. I had Ken hide my scale and he won't give it back! Well, I'm sure he would if I pitched a fit, but I am really trying to avoid the scale, at least for now. It just has far too much power over me and can really mess up my emotions. I'm just going to trust the process and continue to do what Dr. Sebesta and Nancy (my nutritionist) tell me to do. They're the experts!
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| Me at the beginning (Jan 1) and currently |
I had my two week post-up with Dr. Sebesta and he was thrilled with my progress. I have another appointment with Nancy on the 11th, just over a month post-op, so I will know what the scale says then. But my clothes are seriously getting too big and I'm starting to fit into clothes that I haven't been able to wear for several years...some of them are brand new and I can't wait to start wearing them! The picture to the right is me when I first started this journey in January, and then me on June 26. It's getting real.
I've also discovered an incredible new tool that I think is going to be an amazing resource for me. I found the book, Bariatric Mindset, on Kindle and started reading it and I was so impressed with it that I found the FB group and am now an active member. I also bought the hard copy of the book, as well as a reflection journal and a 6 month accountability workbook.
The creator of Bariatric Mindset is Kristin Lloyd and her insight and compassion come from having been on this journey herself since her own surgery. Five years ago she weighed 411 lbs - then she got her gastric sleeve and is now a normal weight and successful at maintaining. She is also a psychologist and life-coach and has turned her journey into a program that is helping thousands of WLS people. I've chatted with her in the FB group and I will be meeting her in PERSON at the conference in October. I am super excited about that! I hope to be able to consider her my mentor and example of success on my own journey post WLS.
She posts a different theme every day, and today's them is:
Happy Conscious Living Thursday...
Let's practice consciousness...
In today's practice, I'm going to give you some prompts to think.
It's up to you the results you'll get because if you journal them or do some deeper introspection, you'll likely get more insight.
When are you most triggered by food? When I'm bored, or when I'm feeling negative emotions (anger, sadness), all I feel like doing is eating whatever I can find, the crappier the better. I think I'm soothing myself, but I'm only hurting myself. I need to practice more self-respect and self-love when it comes to what I'm putting in my body.
When do you have the most difficulty staying on track? When I don't see or feel results. It feels futile to me to put out so much effort and not see any return. Also, when I'm feeling very emotional. Negative emotions especially - anger, sadness, self-loathing, uselessness and futility. And yet, feeding those emotions only makes it worse, and even more difficult to pull myself out of the pit.
When are you most likely to stay on track? When I'm seeing and feeling the results of my efforts! When I feel strong and capable and useful. When I'm exercising regularly and feeding my physical hunger, rather than my emotional hunger. When I'm respecting myself by eating only quality, whole foods.
What fitness makes you feel the best? It's gotta be kettlebells. They make me feel strong and capable, and they build up the fitness level so quickly and efficiently. I'm definitely planning to start working out with them again as soon as I'm cleared!
What foods make your body feel the best? quality, whole foods. High protein. Also when I'm well hydrated.
What foods (after you eat them) make your body feel lethargic, or the worse? Crap foods: Sugar, simple carbs, high fat...basically the foods I feed my emotions with: Chips, pastries, bread, deep fried anything, pasta, candy, cakes...
When are you most happy? When I feel like I'm in control of my life, my diet, my fitness, my career...that all makes me happy.
When are you most in your zone of flow? Not sure what "zone of flow" means. I haven't gotten to that part of the book yet! LOL
What did you notice about these answers and about your life? Feeding myself with quality, whole foods, staying hydrated and exercising regularly make me feel like I have control and that I'm taking care of myself emotionally as well as physically. Eating junk, drinking beverages other than water (alcohol!) and being sedentary makes me feel terrible, emotionally and physically. I feel like it's just not worth putting out any efforts at all to improve my life and emotions. I feel like I'm not worth it. I'm definitely an emotional eater...and when I do that, my moods and the physical aches and pains and my frame of mind just get worse and worse until I can't even see a way to pull myself out of it.
Conscious living.. you want to lose the weight and after surgery, it's more about your life beyond the weight. 
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