Milk...it does a body - what?

I had my first glass of milk tonight in two weeks.  It was nonfat...and it was delicious!   And it was the equivalent of 5 tsp of sugar hitting my system. So I'm still on the fence about whether I want it to be a regular part of my daily diet or not.

I'm trying to decipher how I feel, physically and emotionally.  I think I need some probiotics for my gut and to get started on some supplements.  A multivitamin and some vitamin D at the least.  And my mind is constantly going a hundred miles an hour but when I try to put down what I'm thinking or feeling then I have a total block.

My birthday is coming up and I have absolutely no desire to celebrate or even acknowledge it.  Last year I went out for sushi with four very dear friends and it was a really great time, but I don't feel like even doing that this year.  I was going to go out this coming Saturday with a bunch of ladies from my Junior League group, to have dinner then see a comedy show, and throw a little birthday celebration in with it, but I honestly just don't have the energy or desire to do that either.  My desire to do anything in the least bit social is ZIP.  

I'm also trying to come to terms with a friendship that isn't what I thought it was, and the thoughts and feelings I am having about that person.

It's way more than I'm ready to put down in black and white now, but I'm disappointed at some of the thoughts and feelings that pop into my head.  


Are they motivated by hurt?  Envy?  Jealousy?  Judgment?   Regardless of what's motivating them, they are real.   I can't change them, as much as I'd like to.

I'm trying to remember that everything, even friendship, has a season and a reason, and it's all good.  I just wish those ugly little thoughts and feelings would stay out of my head, they make me feel so petty.